at a creative lost.

"I feel like I'm loosing myself sometimes. I hate when I feel stuck when it comes to being creative and that aggravates me a great deal. I get angry with myself a lot. I’m a competitive person but I realized that the one person I compete with the most is myself. I strive to do better than what I did before and I feel like a lot of people needs to stop looking at others work, stop comparing themselves to others and just worry about ones self more. I'm guilty of doing those things. When I feel like I’m loosing to what I use to be, it hurts me even more. I feel like there’s greatness inside of me that has not been triggered yet. I need to unlock it immediately because I'm internally suffering. Moments like these I hate because these are the time when insecurity starts to begin." -sabla

"Passion over Purpose?"

The word "passion" became a much more deeper term to me after I looking through Andre` Wagner's Passion Project. His project redefined my simple definition of passion and made me realize how important passion actually is to me. I came across a tweet by someone that read "Passion over Purpose." That statement made me think. I agreed with the statement but then I questioned it, doesn't passion and purpose go hand in hand at one point? If you're so passionate about something don't you make it your purpose to perform/accomplish whatever the thing is that you're passionate about? I tend to feel that I'm passionate about too many things, but I've grown to accept that I'm a girl with multiple components, that's the way I look at it. My passions ALWAYS have a purpose and I guess it's to bring about my HAPPINESS.

PASSION: passion & love are 2 terms that aren't too different in feelings. passion has different stages to it and love is amongst those stages & vice-versa. passion is somewhat an "inspiration," the fuel to my ambition. If passion did not exist in my life I would not be the over achieving 17 year old girl I am today, I don't know what kind of person I would be. when you lack passion you lack life. I'm asked one word to describe myself, 

"PASSIONATE" is the word. -sabla`

Music: Jesse Boykins III

soul, romance, jazz, smooth, timeless are the words that come to my mind when I think of the talented Jesse Boykins III's music. For anyone who knows me, his music is all that I listen to right now. His music has gave me a feeling that I have not felt in a very long time, its numbing, of course in a good way. It helps me block out all the bad and it honestly calms me down. I recently went to Jesse Boykins III & The Beauty Created's show on the 19th at the Highline Ballroom with my friend Aliyah, my breath was taken away. I always listen to his music on my iphone or have it blasting in my room but to hear it performed in person was incredible and breath taking. The band was magnifent, the way they mastered their instruments sent chills down my spine. I downloaded his most recent mixtape a few months ago and I just wondered to myself why haven't I made a post about it so here it is. Please download & listen, "schwaza."

Way Of A Wayfarer by Jesse Boykins III
CLICK TO DOWNLOAD

some photos I took at the show

The guy on the trumpet was so good. Listening to Jesse plus the whole band was so surreal. Much more greater than music streaming through some earphones.

-schwaza
Sabla`

Golden Rant Session vol. I: AMERICA

I have moments when I become really disgusted with the fact that I live in this place we call the USA, a place built on stealing, murder, lies, & discrimination... but along with myself and others we don't want to leave. I agree that America has great opportunities and so much freedom, i really don't want to live any place else. America also has good intentions when it comes to involement in foreign affairs but lives were and are lost for those good intentions all the time. America sends troops over to fight "for the country" to kill people "for the country." "One Nation Under God"? AMERICA AND OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD IS A HUGE CONTRADICTION. They want to feed society with the bible, reading to us what we shall not do, but they're doing IT ALL!! and they've been doing it since forever. America puts people to death because of murders they commit, but former President Truman committed mass murder to multiple innocent lives, counting way over 200,000 lives lost in Japan when he ordered to drop the Atomic Bomb with no sympathy or thought in it whatsoever. Did America put him to death? Of course not but do you see the contradiction? Even my thoughts compared to my other thoughts is a contradiction. I question myself, more then I question the world. I don't think America stands by all that it preaches but what can lil o'l me do about it. I'm confused on the complexity of America, of the world, of humans, of me. Im stumped on this complex dysfunctional thing we call life. I rant a little much on subjects like these -sabla`

Hype & Fan on Lookbook.nu

What I'm wearing.

1. Blazer: Urban Outfitters 20$ Clearance
2. Necklace & Sunglasses: St. Marks (Soho) Shops
3. Printed Shirt: Thrifted 20$
4. Shorts, Belt, & Knee High Socks: American Apparel
5. Wedges: Thrifted (Buffalo Exchange)

A Snippet of my Fashion Week Experience.

I haven't been posting in awhile because of school and all the other loads of stuff I've been doing lately. Last week marked the end of Fashion Week and the end of the Teen Vogue Haute Spot. The end of it all made me shockingly, unusually sad. All the fun that occurred between Fashion's Night Out and September 15th will only be in photos and my memory, and it was such an amazing eye opening experience. I don't have access to all the photos I've taken, so here's a snippet of what I have to share.

This girl right beside me Carolina G. has been there for me since 2009, as a friend, mentor, softball captain, inspirational speaker, and then some. I love her so much and she truly inspires me. That day was amazing with her.

Visit her Fashion Diary www.riamichelle.com/

One of the amazing people I met while spending my time at Lincoln Center was Ria Michelle. I met her on the kickoff day of Fashion Week, Fashion's Night Out at the Teen Vogue Haute Spot. Ria host her own website http://riamichelle.com/. It's more than a website to her, she calls it her "Fashion Diary." Since I met her I've been honestly hitting up her site constantly. Besides from her website shes a stylist, and owner of her own online boutique FilthyMagic (Go shop!!!) I can truly say meeting Ria has inspired and fueled more to my ambition towards what I want to do in my career path. She's real, true, and ambitious girl, I saw that clearly with the short amount of time I spent with her. I often learn about some people through the internet and there's only so much you can know from a few photos and words, Im glad I had the chance to meet Ria.

 

Just thought I share the fact that I met designer Jill Stuart. She was sweet, and so inspirational. She stopped by the Teen Vogue Haute spot to speak to us and show us a screening of her new spring collection. She came right from the show to the Haute Spot. Check out her Spring 2012 Collection. THE SHOES WERE AMAZING.

Three of my favorite looks from Jill's Spring 2012 collection.

"Schwaza"

(Source.)
Im an avid listener of Jesse Boykins III's soulful music.
I follow Jesse on twitter and I couldnt help but notice his constant use of the word "schwaza."
I googled the word and found the meaning of the word on his website as well as Urbandictionary.com (lol)

Schwaza – An amazing occurrence that leaves you with a lack of words to express the gravity of the moment, exceptional, excellent, of high quality.

WATCH the video above to see how the word was born :) -sabla`

Untitled.

I don't think I will ever wear anything but gold, silver doesn't exist in my world.

Sunglasses: St Marks 12&

Stripe Shirt: Target(Bestfriend Closest)

Watch: Casio American Apparel

Necklaces: Vintage & Gift from parents.